If I had to name one thing that people struggle with the most when leaving or rethinking their evangelical faith, it is the fear of being wrong and going to hell. Even years after leaving the church many still struggle with fears of demons dancing in their heads.
As a father, hell was a concept that gave me pause. God said he loved me and yet, if I didn’t do exactly what he said I’d be cast away from him into an eternal fire. I couldn’t imagine doing something so horrendous to my own children, no matter what they had done. It seemed cruel and sociopathic. I decided I no longer wanted to serve that God. So I set out on a course to learn more about my faith and the dualistic theology of unspeakable love and unimaginable cruelty.
Several months ago I was contacted by a journalist who introduced himself by saying he could never write about me because of my involvement in ex-gay ministry. He was polite, but blunt. He was afraid of the hate mail his readers would send him if he wrote about my book. More honestly, he said he could simply never do it in good conscience. Continue reading “Let Me Explain”
I was quoted in a Buzzfeed interview as saying, “I’m not even sure God exists.” I could hear the collective gasp from my former evangelical friends and ministry co-workers. I’m pretty sure that statement alone, never mind the rest of the story, moved me to the top of their prayer lists. But let me explain. Continue reading “What It Means to be a Truth Seeker”
I messed up. Someone sent a message after hearing me on a radio show and said I should ask Jesus into my heart and repent of my “debased lifestyle of homosexuality.” I reacted. Actually, I overreacted.
For a few days I justified my behavior. This person made a ton of assumptions about me, dismissed my journey, and talked down to me, as if he were spiritually superior. Besides, I reasoned, at least I was doing something to better the lives of others instead of making snap judgments and condemning people to hell. Continue reading “Winning the Battle and Losing the War”