Raised in a Pentecostal home, Tim had no concept of homosexuality as a kid. When he realized at 14 he was gay, he knew two things: He must pray that God would take it away, and he must never tell anyone. A young, gifted musician, Tim entered the ministry early. His struggle with intense anxiety and depression, however, caused him to attempt suicide by the time he was 22. In the midst of it all, he maintained his faith and commitment to God.
In 1990, Tim entered Love in Action’s one-year live-in program for Christian men struggling with same sex attraction. He experienced emotional healing with the anxiety, and believed God would continue to heal his sexual orientation. In 1991, Tim became the outreach director for Love in Action at a time when the culture war between the Christian right and the LGBT community was heating up. The ministry took part in the making of The Gay Agenda, a video which solidified the Christian Right and created allies in the political arena.
Soon, Love in Action staff members were making headlines around the nation with appearances on, among other shows, Oprah Winfrey, Sally Jesse Raphael, World News Tonight with Peter Jennings, and Christian television’s The 700 Club and Coral Ridge Ministries. Sharing his testimony, Tim spoke at universities and churches around the country, appearing on over 30 radio and television shows, as well as Exodus International Conferences.
He was married in 1995, and left the ex-gay ministry a year later. The bliss of marriage was short-lived and by 2001, now the father of two children, his wife left him. Feeling he had failed as a Christian, a minister, an ex-gay and a husband, Tim spiraled into depression. Over a period of six years, in virtual isolation, he began to rethink everything he believed to be true.
During this time, Tim worked as a corporate trainer for several Fortune 500 companies and went back to school. He earned a bachelor’s degree in business management, and a master’s degree in adult education, where he studied cognitive development and transformational learning. Slowly, Tim came to terms with his sexuality, his faith, and his involvement with the conversion therapy movement.
He is the author of the upcoming book, Rethinking Everything When Faith and Reality Don’t Make Sense (Summer/2017), Going Gay (2014), and the business book, Everything I Learned About Management I Learned from Having a Kindergartner (2012). Tim has written dozens of articles and blogs as a weekly columnist for the The Huffington Post and The Good Men Project, where he writes on the confluence of religion, politics, sexuality, and belief. He is the co-director of Project Change, a documentary currently in production. He is also a member of the American Psychological Association, APA Division 15 Educational psychology, and the Society for the Psychological Study of Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual and Transexual Issues.
Tim lives in Northern California with his two teenage daughters, his fiance, Abel, their dog, Habib, and cat, Sam.